Chapter One

The sound of my alarm, muffled only by the thick, dark blankets. I forced my eyes open to find my phone in the tangle of bodies and sheets. My sole purpose, to turn it off and fall instantly back into bed.

Giving up on trying to find it lying down I sit up and push the warm duvet cover off. Sat on a low queen sized bed clad with bright red sheets and a dark gray down comforter, Is my phone pushed all the way to the foot of the bed. I gaze sleepily around the room. Across from the bed is a simple dark wood desk with a computer tower and two large monitors jutting out from the wall. Near the end of the bed was a doorway to the small closet separated only by a short white curtain painted with sakura blossoms. When I looked down next to me on the bed, Darren had taken off his shirt and was laying face down, a lock of hair strewn across his sleeping face.

I stayed the night at Darren’s. We stayed up too late watching a movie and fell asleep. When I look down, I am still wearing my worn jeans and floral blouse from the night before. He looked so peaceful laying there I wanted to reach out and push the hair out of his face. Instead, she shook his shoulder, trying to wake him up and let him know she had to leave. He didn’t budge in the slightest. She gave a small shrug and crawled over him to get off the bed. Once she was solidly on the ground, she looked back at Darren one more time. He was still sound asleep, not the slightest disturbance from her climb over. Maybe this would be more than just a rebound. Maybe he had the potential to be more. She couldn’t help the warmth that spread across her body as she grabbed her shoes and padded her way out of his bedroom.

When she got to the front door landing, she was relieved that she hadn’t run into anyone this early in the morning. Darren had mentioned yesterday that he lived with his brother and friends and would crash in his spare room from time to time. As quietly as she could, she pushed the front door open, feeling the brisk Autumn air woke her up as the door opened into the cold. Darren lived in a beautiful ranch-style house, walking distance to a river. A forest hugged the back of the house. She had parked her car near the farthest edge of the driveway, not wanting to block anyone else’s parking spots. As she started her walk across to her car, she hugged her arms tighter to her chest, trying to hold in her remaining body heat. She saw something move out of the corner of her eye and when she turned; she saw him standing there leaning against a black antique looking motorcycle. He was tall and thin and had his muscular arms crossed over his chest. He looked like a god. Flawless pale skin, bright blue eyes and blonde hair that seemed to defy gravity. He was wearing a black t-shirt, a worn pair of levis and black boots. He was just standing there staring at me in the pale morning sun, his head cocked to one side a sly smile toying at his lips. He gave her a brief wave and she could feel the heat rushing to her cheeks as she turned and walked briskly back to her car. Before I left the driveway I took one last look in his direction but he had already disappeared into the house.

I rushed through the door at the last possible second, plopping myself into my desk chair and throwing my purse on the floor at my feet right as 8:30am flashed across my computer screen. Jasmine was sitting at her desk, her long black hair pulled up into a slicked back bun, make up done to perfection, but a massive pair of sunglasses covered her eyes. Jasmine had three large drinks lined up on her desk like neat little soldiers. A liquid IV, a large Stanely filled with what I assume is water or more alcohol and the last a giant Starbucks iced coffee. Damn, she must be crazy hungover this morning if she needs that much reinforcement. I am surprised she even made it in. “Good Morning” I say as I turn on my computer. “How are you feeling?” I ask, giving a small nod to her army of drinks. She gives a small laugh and, in a swift dramatic motion, takes the sunglasses off, placing them neatly on her desk. “I am so hungover. Daniel got a huge promotion yesterday, and we took the celebration a tad far for a workday”. She said, looking sheepishly at me. “But I have that new client coming in today that I have been trying to close for weeks and I just couldn’t pass up coming in.” She said, spinning back to her computer, “We have nine meetings on the books for today,” she added, squinting at her computer and snapping her gum. Jasmine has been with Hutson and Wheatley Marketing for just over 2 years and I started as Jasmine’s assistant 6 months ago before being moved up to an associate last month. Honestly, it was refreshing meeting Jasmine. She likes to get out there and we have been to a couple of parties together, but she has had to work hard to get to where she is. I graduated high school a few years ago but decided against going to college since living with my parents was out of the question and I didn’t think I could pay for the dorm and college fees on my own. Over the years I have fallen into a pattern of job hopping, but this was the first time a job felt closer to a career. I was proud of the work I did helping people create better marketing plans and draw in more customers. Jasmine and I are two thirds of our dream team. Our Manager Juan being the remaining third. We worked vigorously to take on bigger clients and reach higher goals.

The break room is a weirdly shaped octagonal room with no windows and just the one entryway. It has barely enough room for the office fridge, a miniscule counter with just enough space for a small sink, a table and one lonely chair sat pushed against the opposite wall. The overly white light from the fluorescents above washed out the light blue walls and made the room feel even smaller. When I walk through the door, I see myself reflected in the mirror above the stainless steel sink. In this light, my pale skin is paler and my hair looks bland and colorless. A natural rosy blush covers most of my face daily, making me look as if I am always embarrassed or sunburnt. I have a light wash of freckles, but they are a light brown color and stick out awkwardly against my pale red face. I sigh, dragging my eyes away from the mirror and finish tossing my lunch made up of a red bull, an orange and two granola bars, filling I know, into the fridge before heading back to my desk.

Once I have responded to my most urgent work emails, I pull my cell phone out of my bag and see a text from Darren. I can’t help the flutters of butterflies that swarm my stomach at just the sight of his name.

Darren: I missed you this morning. When did you leave?

Me: I had to be at work by 8:30 am. I tried to wake you up to let you know, but you did not budge lol.

Darren: Sorry about that. Can I make it up to you by having you over for dinner? Maybe tonight? If that’s not too soon.

Did I want a relationship with Darren? Did it even make sense to jump into a relationship this soon after Peter? My emotions were high and I could tell there was a spark between us, but even after last night, he still never tried to make a move. I only got back out there because Jasmin convinced me I needed to, that I needed to have meaningless sex with someone to get my sad mind off my ex. Maybe Jasmine was right. Maybe I needed to try harder to move on to move past this low point in my life. I typed the words before the small burst of courage and adrenaline wore off.

Me: Sure, why not? Do you need me to bring anything?

Darren: No, it is all taken care of! Meeting at my house at 6:30 sounds okay?

Me: See you then

The rest of the day flew by in a blur. 7 of our 9 meetings showed up today, which had been astonishing considering last week we couldn’t get one person to show up. Juan had to come out of his office and help us with the last two presentations, which almost never happens.

Juan was not what I expected as someone managing a marketing agency. A Hispanic man of a smaller stature who had tattoos on his neck and down his arms. Today he was dressed in a pinstripe suit with shiny black loafers sticking out from the just nearly too long hem of his pants. His hair was slicked back and combed into thick straight lines. He was an excellent manager because he gave Jasmine and me space to grow as marketing associates and gave us the support that we needed to finish projects strong and land bigger clients.

As our last meeting left for the day, we locked the door to our small office and sighed in communal relief. Talking to so many people about their lives, dreams, and ambitions can put your own life into perspective. I look down at my phone, surprised to see that it is already after five-thirty. With traffic, I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it home and then to Darren’s by six-thirty. I threw my phone in my purse and finished organizing my paperwork for tomorrow before giving a quick wave goodbye to Juan and Jasmin, getting a wave from both of them as they continue to chat about a client from this afternoon. When I step outside, the air seems even colder than this morning, and the sun has already disappeared from the sky even though it is only half past five. I take a deep breath of the chilly afternoon air. The trees in the parking lot have started to lose their brown and orange leaves. I loved fall and all the smells and sights that came along with the colder weather. It reminded me of peaceful nights sitting next to the fireplace at my grandparents house reading a book on the hearth. I continued across the parking lot to my small white honda civic throwing my bags into the passenger seat before getting into the driver’s seat and heading home.

I only live about ten minutes away from where I work, which makes my commute an absolute dream. Before I know it, I am pulling into my grandparent’s driveway. This is where I landed after my breakup with Peter. My grandparents let me into their home with open arms. They have always had a small cottage behind their house and everyone has had their time. Resting, healing, and being close to people that love you has really helped lately. They were actually the ones that encouraged me to get out there again and actually act like a twenty-one-year-old.

Growing up, I lived with my mom primarily and she wasn’t always the most responsible person. I’ve had a job since I was fifteen and as soon as I graduated high school, I moved to Michigan with a girl that I was just a little more than an acquaintance with from my high school. That situation sounded better and safer for me than living with either of my parents. My relationship with my mom has barely survived since then, hanging on by mere threads. My dad was a little different. I love my dad and he was great when I saw him. I just don’t see him all that much. Major holidays, birthdays, and the very occasional stop by when he needed photos for Facebook. Regardless, that relationship isn’t thriving that much at the moment, either. I would say that the best time I had growing up was with my grandparents. They have always been there for me when my parents weren’t. If it hadn’t been for their influence, I honestly don’t know who I would have been.

When I got home, I sprinted up to my cottage, throwing open the door and looking at myself in the mirror. Considering I had worked the whole day and stayed up late, I still looked presentable. I take my hair out of its loose bun, letting it fall in waves around my shoulders. I took a makeup wipe and cleaned up my make up wherever it had smudged and reapplied where I needed to, giving myself a light pink lip as I was finishing up. I had thrown on my favorite pair of skinny jeans and a flowy floral top that I liked to call the hook up shirt because of how much my breast protruded from the neckline. Before running out the door I threw on my faded black converse all stars and threw my lucky white cardigan over my blouse. I took one last look in the mirror before closing the door and slipping into the cold night air.